My first experience with burnout occurred as early as my first year of medical school. At that point, I felt like much of my education was essentially body mechanics. I felt like the 'humanity' in medicine was just not part of the curriculum. Would that come later? I hoped so. I had gotten through half of the academic year, when all of a sudden, I felt this strong thought came over me. "Run away." 

"Excuse me?" I thought to myself.

"Go. Go as far as you can from this place."

"You have got to be kidding me."

"This life that you are creating for yourself is toxic. Look at yourself."

I knew it was true. I was in the school library. It was 2 am. There were maybe 1 or 2 other students there. 

The impulse was so strong, I couldn't even concentrate. I gave in, and started looking online for options. Where do I go? What will I do? Can I tie this in with medicine? My young world had already revolved so long around creating my future career that I had a hard time separating from it.

Night after night, I took breaks and looked up various options. Long story short, I came across an organization called Child Family Health International. I managed to obtain grant money from the Arnold P. Gold Foundation to help pay down my travel.  I got to see a totally different side of medicine. It enlivened me. We hiked from village to village in India and worked with the underserved and (often) uneducated. I learned about different, complementary modalities, such as Meditation, Ayurveda, Yoga, and Naturopathy, where the focus was on wellness - not just of the body, but of the mind and spirit. The balance between longevity through wellness and treating acute illness was much more obvious.  I recognized that there was a difference between being a doctor and a healer, and one could become both. Understanding this seemingly small, but fundamental truth, was life-changing. It helped me to become who I was meant to be. 

Sometimes, we hear these whispers in our mind. While the ideas may seem wild at times, maybe there's a reason that the whisper is there in the first place. Pay attention, because it's coming from you... perhaps a side of you that you might be fearful of.... That same side of you holds many profound gifts if you're willing to listen. You don't always need to act on the things that are said, but don't be afraid to ask yourself what that whisper is about. Allow the answers to come without judgment. You might be surprised at what you find. 

Welcome to the Integrative Approaches to Mastering Wellness blog. My goal is to create a home where healers can rest, heal, and recharge. While there is so much reward in helping others, we sometimes give of ourselves a little too much and become depleted.  

My interest in medicine started when I was 5. I saw a physician deliver a baby (in a TV sitcom, not real life!) and I thought that was just the coolest thing. I could play with babies as soon as they came out! How lucky for both the baby and myself! 

As I got older, I recognized what a service and gift it would be to have a hand in raising the next generation of adults. Truly, these children would inherit the Earth and create a ‘new world’ of sorts. How incredible would it be to empower these young people? To help them craft a life of their own and integrate into society in a way that is expansive and growth-oriented? To inspire them to stretch beyond their perceived boundaries?

I went into Pediatrics to do just that. I’m so proud to have the privilege to play even a small part in these kids’ lives.  I’ve now been doing this as an attending for over 10 years.

But… there is a place for empowerment in the world of adults, too. There’s an ongoing need for it as we move through various stages of our adult life.

People seem to think that because we are physicians and we are supposed to know how to heal others that we must be good at taking care of ourselves, as well. To an extent, that’s true. But in large part, the culture of medicine has been that of service and perfection. Self-deprivation in the name of treating our patients was and continues to be a quality that is looked upon favorably. It serves the bottom-line, but this doesn’t serve us, and it certainly doesn’t serve our families.

It's time to breathe life and growth back into the physicians who so dedicatedly care for the world. It’s time to make changes in our lives to allow for such growth. Are you ready?